Boy what a mess we’ve gone through in our Ark Survival playthrough! Every day brings us closer to our goal of beating all of the bosses in the storyline, but the best way to get there? Shenanigans, of course!

Need to catch up on the rest of our epic dinosaur quest first? Just go here to learn about my absolute lack of survival skills in a survival game! (Part One) (Part Two)

A lot of the most valuable resources in the Ark Survival tend to be in the most dangerous places; that’s the nature of the game. I’ve mentioned what a hellhole the Redwoods are, which is rich with metal deposits, tree sap, and more–if you can survive the drop cats and packs of raptors. I’ve also briefly touched on swamps, though not nearly enough to do the titanoboas and pirana helltraps justice.

But underwater is a whole other shitshow. It’s so bad I often like to pretend that underwater just doesn’t exist.

Have you ever considered just how freaky deep-ocean diving is in real life? Well Ark is inspired by reality, after all, and the creepy crawlies they have underwater are NOT for the faint of heart.

There are mega dinosaurs that are as big as whales with enough teeth to make a t-rex look shy. Electric eels that are more than happy to stun you and let the sharks feed on your corpse. And of course, sea scorpions that’ll knock you out as fast as the snakes do on land.

Worst part is, there are a lot of valuable underwater resources, and the only way to get most of them is by challenging the depths.

At this point in the game… we don’t have anything that good at surviving underwater. Even Roslyn, the high-level, powerful Spinosaur we tamed within our first few hours of playing, isn’t the best at underwater play. She does moderately okay in underwater fights, but she’s better in rivers than deep-diving.

In any case, Alex wanted some oil or crystal or something that is difficult to get on the beach where we’ve built our base, so he runs up the coast all the way to the northern edge of the map where a lot of those resources are hidden on the Island: in the snow.

Spinos move faster in water, hence the decision to go by water. I wish I could detail this tragic event in full detail… but the truth is that I wasn’t there when it happened. I don’t even remember what I was doing at the time. Gathering metal? Taming something? Maybe I wasn’t even online yet at this point.

In any case, Alex goes north, successfully gathers whatever it is that he’s after, and then prepares for his swim back home.

Naturally, riding a badass Spino, he feels invincible. There’s a shark in the water that he’s more than happy to monch on. Heck, there’s two sharks, and he’ll beat them up no problem.

Only problem is the jellyfish. Electric jellyfish.

As soon as he touches them, the jellyfish emit this wave of persistent electricity that stuns Roslyn, knocks him off her back, and throws him right into the water. He swims away from the sharks easily enough because they’re all focused on Roslyn… but since he wasn’t equipped to deal with jellyfish, or sharks, or really anything because we’re so early at this point in the game… he’s left to frantically swing his hatchet to try and kill the jellyfish without getting stunned himself.

Unfortunately, he isn’t able to get them before they get her.

R.I.P Roslyn the badass spino. 2021-2022.

Also, Alex died shortly after because he was stranded so far from home, but that’s a footnote in this otherwise tragic tale. (Spolier: He was okay in the end but his gear was not.)

—Erynn